August 6, 2011 by Amy

Things I think about when I can’t sleep

This has been a rough week for me.  Personally, professionally…every which way.  Sleepless nights and tears and questions that, at least for now, seem unanswerable.

But through it all, I know this: I am okay.  And I know this because despite what happens to me, what is currently going on in my life, I know that I have the most amazing people that will be there for me no matter what.  I was trying to sleep tonight, unsuccessfully again, and I started thinking about how I have an unbelievably long list of people who I could call if I was in real, serious trouble, and get instant help, even if I haven’t talked to them in six months.  People who, when I invariably apologize for being distant, always respond with, “Hey, no worries.  You’re okay.  I’m okay.  We’re okay.”  People who, when they apologize to me for being distant, I can say the same thing with understanding and empathy.  Thinking about these people always warms my heart and makes me smile.  And I send gratitude into the universe for having you make up the rich fabric of my life.

You all know who you are.  I thank you, and I love you.

To those of you who don’t get it, who don’t get me, and who make no effort to understand me or what I might be facing, yet feel capable of casting judgment, well…that’s a whole other story.

Unlike Facebook where I can simply bar you from sharing my life with the click of a mouse, my blog is more open.  I can’t control who comes to my space and reads about my life.  All I can do is say this: F*ck you.  You’re not welcome here any more.

#musings