May 28, 2006 by Amy

Every Kohl’s in the Midwest in one day!

Today was spent running hither and yon, which makes me so glad that this is a three-day weekend and we’ll have some downtime after all. This morning started off with a Sears repairman out to look at the pedistal drawer under our washer – third repairman in a couple of months. Bottom line: our new drawer was ordered today. Then Zoe had her bath, and it was off to Target, then the pediatrician. Zoe weighs 18 lbs, 2 oz, and is 27 inches long. Oh yeah, and the circumference of her head is 17 inches, just in case you were wondering. I know I’ve been on pins and needles for days, wondering what it is now. She’s healthy as can be (thank God!) and Dr. F was impressed that she exhibited no signs of stranger-anxiety, which is usually in full swing by this time.

From there we stopped by My Favorite Camera Store (yay!), where I blew all my gift certificates on ink and paper (booo!). I could spend hours, no days, in that store. I could blow some serious amounts of cash in that store. Today, though, I only wiped out three gift certificates and $5.08 in cash. I think that’s the cheapest amount I ever spent there.

From there it was home to feed The Bug, and drop off the Target and photo stuff. Back on the road, with a fine cuisine luncheon at La Taco Bell. Then it was off to our first Kohl’s of the day, where I tried on some shorts and tops. It seems that I haven’t shopped for “regular-girl” shorts and summer tops in quite awhile. My last summer purchases, after all, were for “pregnant girl.”

Sidebar note: M is currently watching, with rapt attention, the idiots at the casino doing karaoke. What broadcast puke ever thought this makes good TV? Right now some hick-looking woman is belting out “Unchain My Heart,” and she’s flat as can be. I can’t sing, but at least I know it and don’t get up on stage in a public place. At least when I’m sober. I confine my singing to the car, usually when I’m alone, but sometimes in front of M. We’ve also been known to belt out some Van Halen or Aerosmith together.

So anyway, I tried on about a million-million pairs of shorts, and purchased some (far less than a million-million), and then we left and went to our second Kohl’s, where I tried on another million pairs of shorts and bought some of those. M and Z did laps around the store, and at some point Z thought it’d be a blast to toss her burp cloth over the side of the stroller surrepitiously. She then got a kick as her daddy did more laps just looking for the stupid thing.

From there it was on to Sam’s. Had fun watching all the people walk out with things like entire carts full of buns and soft pretzels, and beer. Lots and lots of beer. Seems we Americans like to enjoy our Memorial Day Weekend in a drunken stupor.

Back home to unload the groceries (and beer), to feed Z and to put her down for a nap. Then I re-tried on all my clothes so I could get M’s opinion, and we sorted them into two piles: keep and “good lord, what were you thinking? wasn’t there a mirror in that dressing room? those have to go back.”

On to dinner at Sweet Tomato’s (or, as our former vice president might spell it, Sweet Tomatoe’s) and then our third (yes, third) Kohl’s to return the shorts I didn’t keep. From there we went to Grandma Frank’s just to hang out and let Z roll around on the floor. That’s her favorite thing to do these days…roll around. She’s up on all fours and in the rocking position quite a bit, but she hasn’t quite gotten the actual crawling thing down.

Now we’re home, and I’m writing what has got to be the most insanely boring post ever submitted to a blog (I just may lose readers with this stinker) and M is channel surfing. Thankfully he could only take a moment of the flat singer at the casino. I believe now he’s lighted on SNL, which in our opinion hasn’t truly been good since Eddie Murphy was on.

He wants on the ‘puter, to do some surfing in regards to the ’06 Christmas Display. Yes, that’s right. He’s been planning. He’s actually been planning year-round for, oh, probably about 34 years now. I better let him on…it makes him happy and that’s important, because if Daddy ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.

Will have new pictures to post after tomorrow. It’s Zoe’s first time swimming and we’re going to Grammy and Papa’s for the day.