November 7, 2014 by Amy

Gratitude

Yesterday Microsoft released, for free, Word for iPad. I was so excited that I immediately downloaded it. Well, I downloaded it after I updated the iPad's operating system, requested Apple send me a password code to allow me to change the password after I forgot for the millionth time, changed the actual password, logged in, agreed to Apple's new privacy policy, confirmed the iTunes account information, went through the set-up of the new operating system, got back into the App Store, found Word again and clicked the download button. (Damn you, Apple.)

So this morning's Morning Pages are being composed in a scaled-down version of Word, which is hella better than the iPad's Notes app I was using. Notes allows you to type and that's it. This Word app includes some basic editing features, the ability to insert tables, shapes, photos and links (among other things), layout goodies, and use track changes.

But the best part is, it syncs seamlessly with Dropbox. I have drafts going on several topics saved in my Dropbox. This means that if I'm on my laptop, the iPad, or my iMac, I can access those drafts and keep working. Or even if I'm on someone else's computer…all I have to do is log into Dropbox and there are all my Word documents. This is amazing.

Changed up the routine I started all of two days ago. No coffee this morning, and I'm on the ottoman in front of the fire instead of at the kitchen island. We have some iced coffee drink in the fridge and I think I'll fetch me some of that here in a moment, after I'm good and roasted from the fire.

Here's what I've figured out with this new morning thing. It's awesome. It's awesome because it is time I have alone, to myself, doing exactly what I want to do. This does not happen if I wait until some time later in the day. If I wait, I end up wearing too many hats and feeling completely drained and exhausted, and then pissed because I've given to everyone else all day and no one can sustain that for very long.

Yesterday, after work, I came home to fetch Zoe and M, and the three of us headed up to volleyball practice. Since M is on crutches, I filled in on the court. He had the whole practice planned, so all I had to do was run around and throw balls, essentially. He didn't sit in his chair enough to suit me or the other two parents helping, and at one point we taped him to the chair. It wasn't good tape, though, so he soon busted free, much to the delight of the 12 girls we were coaching. After practice, we came home and ate dinner, and I cleaned it all up. In the middle of this I fielded multiple requests from my family, and for the first time in forever and ever I didn't wind up aggravated and resentful. It's because I had started with a full tank, instead of being on empty when the evening came and then having to coast on fumes.

The fact that I knew I had my writing done for the day – or the writing I expected to finish on that given day – meant that I didn't mind my evening time being taken by those I love. This is not coming out well…for once I'm stumped for words. (I do know, however, that most mothers will understand this, however poorly I am expressing it.)

At this point, I have to show an enormous amount of gratitude for my MIL. All day yesterday I worried about dinner. How was I going to get dinner on the table? What do I have to make that's quick and easy and still fulfilling and reasonably healthy? And I knew that I'd be exhausted before I could even start making it. So then I considered where we could go get something, that didn't involve getting out of the car because a.) I'd be disgustingly sweaty from practice and b.) we didn't have time for even decent sit-down fast food since Zoe still had homework. I had pretty well resigned myself to nuking one frozen burrito and a few frozen tamales and calling it a day. Which is the crap meal of all crap meals. Zoe would be thrilled, and M would be understanding, but I didn't like the idea.

As I packed up the volleyballs and other materials from practice, changed M's shoe and helped him with his coat, and ensured we had all of Zoe's stuff, I checked my phone. There was a text message from my MIL letting us know that she had made dinner for us. All we had to do was call her when we got home. I almost cried. Sure enough, my FIL came trooping across the backyard with a tray shortly after we arrived. We had pork tenderloin, risotto, green bean casserole and apple sauce. It was delicious, and hot, ready, and an answer to a prayer. This beautiful act of kindness also helped me be a better wife and mother last night. I was so grateful, and so relieved, that helping my family was a privilege, not a chore.

Zozo's alarm tells me it's time for the shower. We have no plans for tonight, which makes my gratitude level spike even higher. I have to get the basement and house picked up as we are hosting the volleyball team for breakfast after our last game tomorrow, but that shouldn't take much and the house needs it anyway. And then it's the weekend. I'm not entirely sure how I'll be spending my "spare time," but I am looking forward to it, whatever it may be. I'm determined to get more writing in, as I have set certain goals this month that scare the snot out of me and give me hope all at the same time. Whatever we do, it'll be good.