December 13, 2006 by Amy

Ameren, O Ameren – An Ode

Ameren, O Ameren
You delightful cur
Full of surprises and tricks
I’m so thrilled that last evening
My home had too much power
Causing me and M to frolic about
Unplugging every friggin’ appliance we own
So as not to blow up things like:
My Mac, our fridge, our furnace
stove, microwave, Tivoli radio, and
our kick-ass Christmas display

Ameren, O Ameren
You delightful cur
Many thanks for hiring phone people
who know nothing about electricity
And who say things like, “Yeah, well…
I guess you could unplug everything
or just turn off the breakers.”
And your scheduling system –
“We don’t know when someone will be out” –
is simply state of the art
and a joy to behold

Ameren, O Ameren
You delightful cur
You are so lucky
I am married to an engineer
with a voltmeter
who knows how to use it
and can keep our house
from blowing up
when we hear things start to
buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz