Things I learned volunteering at Zoe’s Valentines party

Foam + pipe cleaner + glue = disaster. Foam + pipe cleaner + stapler = success. Elmer’s Glue is attracted to cashmere. My favorite name is “Zoe’s Mom.” I don’t respond well to “Hey hey hey hey hey hey.” Time flies when you’re making Heart People. Googly eyes go everywhere. I’m wholly unprepared to react to the statement, “Hey, Zoe’s Mom, Zoe bit me.” However, I think I was quite gracious upon hearing, “Hey, Zoe’s Mom, I’m sorry I lied about Zoe biting me.” And finally:Those teachers don’t earn nearly enough. Not nearly enough. I have to go back to work now. And I’m flat-out exhausted. Holy shit.

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This is the way to travel

Walked out of security to find Robert waiting with a sign bearing my company’s logo. He grabbed both my bags and led me 10 feet out the door to a running (ie warm!) black Lincoln Continental with leather seats and tinted windows. OMG. I could get used to this. I mean, really. Plane to highway in 5 minutes, riding in luxury to the corporate offices 35 minutes away? Yeah, this is why I went back to school for an MBA. This morning almost makes up for 2 years of hell. Almost.

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