May 16, 2014 by Amy

Lost: creativity, and the willpower to stop eating

It’s 9:14 p.m. and I’m tired because I was up until 2 a.m. and I have heartburn because when I am stressed I overeat and by the end of this week I should weigh 5,739 pounds at the rate I’m going so I think maybe the heartburn is saying, “Hey, stupid, stop shoving everything you can find in your mouth. That’s not good for you. Drink water.” I should listen to the heartburn. If I promise to listen to you, will you go away? Now, please.

All this is to say that I’m not feeling very creative tonight and that my favorite subject is sleeping with approximately 42 men in North County (wait, that didn’t sound right…he’s on retreat, people, get your mind out of the gutter) and is not here to give me fodder and so I think I’m just going to go to bed and hope that I stumble upon some creativity tomorrow. It’s highly unlikely, though, as today was doughnut day and if you can’t find creativity in the wake of free doughnuts, well, then there’s something really wrong.

Also, I’m trying to say that I’m going to bed early tonight and hoping that I don’t have the same dream I had last night, wherein the Headmaster was a zombie. It wasn’t pretty, friends. Monk zombies are creepy as hell.

And on that note, sweet dreams.