August 5, 2015 by Amy

National Days of Ridiculousness

M called us on the way home from work yesterday to announce that he had just heard on the radio that it was National Chocolate Chip Day. Naturally, as soon as he came home, we opened the bag of chocolate chips and celebrated as we made dinner.

Today, on the way home from her piano lesson, Zoe asked what National Day it is today. As we waited in line at the pharmacist I googled it on my phone. Turns out today is National Underwear Day. I’m not entirely sure how the American population is expected to celebrate this day, but my daughter has chosen to wear her underwear on her head in a show of support. (Note: she is also wearing underwear in the regular, expected place, too.)

This all got me to thinking. Is there a National Day of everything? And doesn’t that kind of defeat the purpose of having National Days? Nothing is special if everything is celebrated. I mean, do we really need a special day to celebrate underwear?

This month alone, we have:

• National Coloring Book Day (August 2)
• National Grab Some Nuts Day (August 3) – this one could get interesting depending on interpretation of the word “nuts.”
• National Fresh Breath Day (August 6) – again, I’d prefer people I know to celebrate this every day
• National Wiggle Your Toes Day – same day as Fresh Breath, so we’re covering the whole head-to-toe thing.
• National Son’s and Daughter’s Day (August 11), which you’d think could be celebrated concurrently with National Kid’s Day (August 1), but nooooooo.
• National Julienne Fries Day (August 12) – no special day for you, Home Fries!
• National I LOVE My Feet Day (August 17)
• National Waffle Day (August 24) – I could seriously get behind this one.
• National Kiss and Make Up Day (August 25) – for this, you must instigate a fight with your spouse on August 24 so as to be truly prepared to celebrate on August 25.
• National Secondhand Wardrobe Day (also August 25) – unexplainable.
• National Women’s Equality Day (August 26) – again, hello, EVERY DAMN DAY.
• National Just Because Day (August 27) – because…just because.
• National Chop Suey Day (August 29) – I prefer moo goo gai pan, but whatever.
• National Toasted Marshmallow Day (August 30) – Zoe’s birthday, so, entirely appropriate.

I didn’t even list everything. It’s too much. You can check it out here, along with all the National Days of every month.

I have a few proposals based on my own personal experience. This year, there should be two National Bunion Days (one for each foot, naturally), eight National Girl Scouts Drive Me to Drink Day (to be celebrated the days we have meetings), a National I Finally Found Decent Kitty Litter That is Dust-Free and Doesn’t Track Day (hallelujah), and National My Window Treatments Finally Came In Day. I’d also like to celebrate National Repairman Day, which would have been two weeks ago when I had the fridge repairman, plumber, and washing machine repairman all at my house on the same day.

I’m sure, given time, I could come up with more. These are just my recent celebrations. I better get going. I have a lot to celebrate, including, today, National Oyster Day.