August 4, 2006 by Amy

Pineapples and Robots

I don’t have much of anything really good to post, so I’ll take this opportunity to post some funny stories about Beans. This is in retaliation for her leaving my swimsuit picture up on her blog for waaaaaay too long.

I’ll try to do these justice, but I have a feeling that it’s one of those “you had to be there” moments.

First, The Case of the Missing Pineapples.
Picture this: our little Beano, shopping her little heart out in Shop ‘n Save, gathering wholesome nourishment for her beloved family (JojoBean and Shawntay). “Ooo, these pineapples look wonderful!” she thinks, and carefully selects a perfect specimen. Within minutes, her pineapple is purloined! “WTF?” she thinks. Back she goes to choose another pineapple. Later, she’s off near the dairy section, shopping for milks, cheeses, you know, dairy stuff. Turns back to the cart: missing pineapple. Not one, but TWO pineapples were stolen from her cart in one shopping excursion. I don’t know why I think this is so funny, but I do. I guess I picture the looks on her face: first confusion, then anger, then resignation as she heads back to the produce department for the third time. I’ve never really heard of people stealing things out of other people’s carts, but I suppose it does happen, and to Beano, twice in one trip. And with pineapples, no less. It’s not like it was a tub of butter or something. Pineapples are big and have spikey tops, as you well know. How do you smuggle that away? I don’t think I’d ever have the cajones to steal someone’s pineapple.

Second, The Case of the Runaway Robot
I’ll just post Beano’s e-mail, which she sent me yesterday to cheer me up, and which worked because I cracked up laughing the rest of the day just imagining it.

“Thought you would get a laugh outta this…one of the damn robots in the hall ran into me. I actually have a bruise on my leg. It was cruising down the hall and made this sharp left turn. I think someone needs to check that one out. Usually they slow down when they turn, that’s why I didn’t even know it was going to turn. Trust me, I move when those things are coming!” The robot in question is the little hospital robot that takes prescriptions and stuff throughout the hospital for staff, and it’s programmed with a map of the hospital and an electronic eye that keeps it (or is supposed to keep it) from running into people. I’m completely mesmerized by these little robots. I think it’s so very Star Wars and Star Trek to have little mechanical buddies running errands for us.

Wanting to know more about my sister’s little robotic friend, I googled “hospital robot” and found an interesting article about a robot running amok at a California hospital. It’s written a little tongue-in-cheek with a definite British sense of humor, which I quite like. So anyway, now ya’all know someone who has been terrorized by a robot and had pineapples stolen from her shopping cart.

Beano, thank you so much for your funny stories. You crack me up! I love you!