Finding myself. Again.

It’s been months since I’ve written. Amended: it’s been months since I’ve written anything beyond an obituary, and that particular piece needed the courage that a bottle of wine provides. There have been a variety of reasons: I’m too busy and there’s crap at work and my mother is dying and the house is dirty, blah blah blah. I should have been writing through all of it and instead I’ve written through none of it. I’ve written plenty in my head, sure, but nothing made it to the fingers and onto the page. I have a novel ready for heavy editing. A flash non-fiction piece ready to send out for hopeful publication. A creative non-fiction book in the early stages of interviews and transcribing. A million short stories and essays backlogged in my brain, all fighting for air.

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Watch out. She’s writing again.

I finally, for the first time in well over a month, have time and space to write. It feels amazing. And yet, I sit here and struggle to think of some topic worthy of committing to paper. Or screen, rather.

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Thursdays

Thursdays have been my Monday lately. Thursdays used to be my Saturday, but for the past month-plus, they are definitely Mondays.

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Smile, work, ants, parents, ACTS, writing, SMILE

This morning I stopped at Starbucks on the way to work (I know, I know, you’re shocked), and when I hopped out of the car I saw some new green plants popping up in the parking lot landscaped berm. I am so happy to see green showing up everywhere, and buds on trees, that it makes me smile.

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Just call me Julia Child. And Molly Maid.

 

I woke up around 7:30, but stayed in bed until 8. I love that morning time when I can lay in bed and not have to get up right away. Only I knew that I had a lot of work ahead of me so that kind of ruined the mood. At 8, I got up and started cooking.

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Budgeting time

I was a soccer mom today, which I really enjoy. I like hanging out with the other parents. I like cheering on Zozo and her friends. However, when the game is at 7:15 a.m., and I have to have her there by 7 a.m., and it’s at the indoor field furthest from our house…I maybe don’t enjoy it quite as much. (Don’t worry. I soothed myself with a quick stop at Starbucks.) (I also don’t like the smell of indoor soccer venues, which is much discussed among parents and for which the only solution would be to blow up the building and start again. But that’s a topic for another post.)

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A different kind of work

I’m supposed to be working right now. I took the entire afternoon off to escort my parents to doctors appointments and so I should be working right now to make up for my missed time. I did a little bit of work, but not enough. I’m too distracted.

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