November 30, 2017

The End. The Beginning.

So here I am, on the last day of November, having hit my goal of blogging every single day this month, assuming I finish this piece and post it. I fully recognize that my Christmas tree saga has taken over the blog this week, and I’d just like to say, “Welcome to my world.” It has taken over my life this week. I’m happy to report that I have hit my goal of getting the tree to a state where it’s ready for ornaments. Between M and I, it took approximately 80 hours. Eighty hours we will never get back. Eighty hours that makes me wonder why people erect trees in their homes for one month out of the year anyway. It’s not logical, if you stop and think about it.

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November 29, 2017

Resignation

I am hereby tendering my resignation, effective immediately. I wish you all the best luck in finding someone who will actually get your stupid giant Christmas tree decorated in time for the 2017 holiday season. You may have to pay a higher salary, hiring this late, so I appreciate the predicament I am leaving you in but for my own mental health I must take leave immediately. It has been an honor horror working here.

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November 28, 2017

What did I forget?

I’m taking a break from stripping The Christmas Tree From Hell because I made a commitment to write every day and somehow that’s stronger than my intense and utter hatred of this stupid tree. It better look damn good with its giant multi-colored lights after this is all over.

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November 27, 2017

Me vs. Tree

The war began tonight. While Zoe practiced for her Christmas piano recital, I went mano a mano with a Christmas tree. In case you haven’t read my last post, I’ll get you up to speed: my giant pre-lit Christmas tree decided this year to be a half-lit Christmas tree. It was a lovely stripey pattern but I couldn’t sell M on being avant garde for the holidays. After farting around with the lights for too long yesterday, I made the decision to strip the tree of its lights. M left on a business trip this morning, so it’s up to me to denude our tree. I am the luckiest girl in the world.

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November 26, 2017

Tech Troubles Part Deux

We have the phone situation sorted out. Solved, as usual, by throwing money at it. I’m the proud owner of a new iPhone, and Zoe took my 6s, which has its own issues (battery is at 83% whatever) but will suit her usage needs adequately for the time being. Turns out her iPhone 5’s screen was coming off because the battery was exploding inside the case, pushing it out. The tech explained that for the cost of the battery, Apple would replace the entire phone as they don’t try to repair exploded batteries. Apparently exploded batteries are very finicky and messing with it could result in a “thermal event.” It took me about 15 seconds to figure out that “thermal event” is engineer-speak for “fire.” We debated replacing it for the cost of the battery, and ultimately decided it wasn’t worth the $79 because the phone is so old it’s incapable of being updated anyway. So, new phones (or new-to-her in Zoe’s case) for the women in the family. Yay.

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November 25, 2017

Will run for bacon

This morning we participated in the Girl Scouts of Eastern Missouri 1-mile fun run/walk, called “Run for the Cookies.” It’s an annual event that Zoe and I have done for five consecutive years, and M has done for the last three. It’s a good excuse to get up on the lazy Saturday after Thanksgiving and get moving, but my favorite part is being in the middle of a huge group of really cool people. Because Girl Scouts are cool beans.

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November 24, 2017

Tech times three

Just like celebrity deaths, technology woes come in threes. Which is always fun since technology is so inexpensive to replace/repair and since it’s always so easy to work with.

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November 23, 2017

Gratitude with Attitude

On this day we are supposed to be extra thankful and share what we’re thankful for. The top of my gratitude list is pretty standard (family, friends, food, etc.) so I won’t repeat what you can get scrolling through Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. Let’s just assume I have all the same feels as everyone else. Instead, here are the things for which I’m grateful that never get mentioned.

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November 22, 2017

Day Off

Zoe was off school today, and I was off work, so we did what mothers and daughters since time immemorial have done: we went shopping together.

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November 21, 2017

I feel the need…the need for speed

For a few weeks now, I’ve been getting irrationally irritated at my computer. Any time I was on the internet, the thing just seemed to draaaaaag. I type cnn.com and then go make a cup of coffee and visit the bathroom and trim a hangnail and bake 18 dozen cookies and then check the computer and the page would be maybe half loaded.

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