November 22, 2011
Some days I feel very, very brave. I’ve got it all under control. I’m handling everything, getting things done, being the person I want to be. Some days I feel not so brave. Things are starting to slip, I can’t get anything done, and I’m not at all who I feel like being.
November 6, 2011
While it may seem as though I’ve been dormant (lazy) (absent) (quiet) (invisible), the truth is that I’ve only been those things here.
October 24, 2011
I’ve had a few people email me and ask about Camp Shutter Sisters, and those I’ve met in person have all asked. So maybe it’s about time I try to put my feelings into words about this experience. Which is hard because the feelings run deep and strong, and I find myself at a loss for words (which is very, very rare for me).
September 20, 2011
I’m seeing images everywhere again. This is refreshing, and a relief. I’m reading a book called Why People Photograph, and just last night I read an essay that discussed artists losing their way, and those who get so lost they never make it back. That is one of my biggest fears. I go through dormant periods like anyone, but at those times I become passionately afraid that the dormancy will last forever and my gear will grow dusty, and someday I will have to just throw it all out (because digital gear, as we all know, goes vintage about 30 seconds after you pay for it). And when that happens there will be a giant hole in who I am. And how on earth would I fill that? It’s been a part of my life for so long now, is there anything that could even replace it? Thinking about this gives me the willies.
September 19, 2011
Saturday night we went to a birthday party for a family friend’s 10-year-old daughter. Double digits means, apparently, that one is too sophisticated to play with mere children. At past parties, Zoe was snatched from her parents and sucked into the world of free-spirited play with all the cousins of this large, loving family. Expecting much the same this time, I took her hand and climbed the steps to the playroom, where two of the girls had hidden from the boring adults. As soon as we entered the room, I felt the chill as they stopped talking and looked at us. I ignored it. “Hi! Would you guys mind if Zoe played up here with you?”
September 11, 2011
Ten years ago, I worked at the American Red Cross. I was a measly little marketing specialist, doing my part to help my chapter raise money and awareness so we could help local families impacted by fire and flood, and send out volunteers and supplies to communities hit by natural disasters. We trained folks in first aid and CPR and how to use an AED. We helped people be prepared, and even learn how to swim. Hurricanes and tornadoes and earthquakes were regular occurrences, and I was proud to work for a large, national organization that could quickly spin into action to help others while doing the daily work of making our communities safer.
September 7, 2011
Hmmm. Okay. I think at this point brief (okay, maybe not so brief) bullet points are in order to get us all caught up.
August 15, 2011
Yesterday, we went to a morning mass because it was Packet Sunday. This is the Sunday before school starts, and after the 9 a.m. and 11 a.m. masses parents can head over to the music room in the school to pick up information for the coming school year. I was very excited, and a little nervous, as I had been warned by veteran grade school parents that the packet is rather intimidating and requires hours of work and multiple checks.
August 9, 2011
August 6, 2011
This has been a rough week for me. Personally, professionally…every which way. Sleepless nights and tears and questions that, at least for now, seem unanswerable.