December 1, 2021

Welcome to Amytown

When M and I were first married, the ink not yet dry on our marriage certificate, he began to act strangely. Instead of coming home each night after work, he went to his grandmother’s. “I am making her a plant stand,” he said. “She wants me to make her a plant stand.” Okay, fine, but when it was taking days, then weeks, I had my doubts. I had seen Grandma’s plant stands. A plant stand was a slab of Formica with a kitchen cabinet handle affixed to each end and casters mounted to the bottom. This allowed her to place tall plants in giant pots wherever she wanted in her house. She already had quite a few, built for her, I suppose, by her incredibly handy husband. He had passed away a couple of years before we got married, though, so I guess she needed another one and it was up to her grandson, who had inherited her husband’s mechanical inclinations, to make one.

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October 10, 2021

Headed Toward Divorce

It started off so, so good. We were constantly together. I loved the connection. I grew reliant upon it. I altered my lifestyle according to the nudges, the encouragement, and I was happy. Until I wasn’t. Until I realized that I was behaving in ridiculous ways just to avoid the nagging, the subtle comments intended to motivate but that really only induced guilt. Panic would set in if I didn’t conform to expectations. Really, who can live up to that constant pressure? It was time for, at the very least, a trial separation.

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October 5, 2021

Light’s Out!

Sometimes it’s not the technology that malfunctions…

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April 12, 2018

Rotation

It’s pretty common knowledge that you’re supposed to rotate the tires on your car. Some drivers are more vigilant about doing it, but by and large, people know that it should be done. It’s good automotive maintenance.

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December 13, 2017

Fashion Forward

I am the least-trendy person I know. The only attention I pay to fashion trends is when something pops up that I do not understand and there for absolutely hate. This year’s bared shoulder blouses is a perfect example. What the hell. I have enough trouble getting into my clothes early in the morning when it’s dark and I’m still sleepy without dealing with extra holes. Not happening. And skinny jeans ought to be destroyed. That trend has overstayed its welcome, and makes shopping for regular jeans a herculean task that ends in frustration every. damn. time. Even my tried and true Levi’s has succumbed to this fad. Yo, Levi’s: I weigh more than 86 pounds, thanks.

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November 21, 2017

I feel the need…the need for speed

For a few weeks now, I’ve been getting irrationally irritated at my computer. Any time I was on the internet, the thing just seemed to draaaaaag. I type cnn.com and then go make a cup of coffee and visit the bathroom and trim a hangnail and bake 18 dozen cookies and then check the computer and the page would be maybe half loaded.

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November 20, 2017

Monday Monday

I had today “off,” which of course meant I was busier than if I had actually worked. I found our missing cuckoo clock for M to hang, and cleaned the nasty stuff off the feet of Zoe’s stepstool from her bathroom so we could attach new pads that are clean and not covered in adolescent girl hair and cat fur. After taking Zoe to school, I got in a 4+ mile walk which led to the complete draining of my iPhone battery. (Side rant: Ever since I upgraded to the new iOS the damn thing won’t hold a charge. Given how much I use my phone during the day, this is really starting to hack me off. It’s a 6S, so, you know, not insanely old. Heck, my contract isn’t even up until April, so it’s way less than two years old. I’ve tried all the tricks except flatlining it, which I hate doing because I’m always worried the backup won’t work and I’ll lose stuff. Ugh. Technology.) After a shower, I cleaned up around the house, placed a box on the front porch for volleyball uniforms to be dropped off, and headed out. Picked up a prescription and the dry cleaning, and took Daddy to two doctor appointments. Those took way longer than expected, but I was able to get some work done while I waited.

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